Chicago Bears
1020 3040 50 4030 2010
THE
DA BEARS
B U L L E T I N
"Bears News So Fake You'd Swear Da Coach Was Still Prowling Da Sideline."
1020 3040 50 4030 2010
Chicago Bears
Breaking
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1985 Vault Reports Record Attendance For The 40th Consecutive Year

Curators describe visitor enthusiasm as 'undiminished by time.'

Ditka Files Add New Folder Marked 'Miscellaneous Toughness'

Contents of the folder remain, as always, self-explanatory.

Windy City Wire Confirms It Is, In Fact, Windy

Meteorologists call the report 'accurate but not groundbreaking.'

Front Office Says Bears Are 'In On Everybody' This Offseason

The phrase now appears in franchise records dating back several regimes.

Johnson Praises Offense's 'Rhythm' After A Drive That Stalled At Midfield

He confirmed the rhythm was, at minimum, present.

Rookie Stunned By Fan Turnout At A Non-Padded Practice

Forty reporters showed up. Six asked about the wind.

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